in-between
waiting for reality to feel real, or at least realer if possible
still feel as if i'm dreaming
home is different but coming home is a breath of fresh air
crushin hard

night train to bayonne, biarritz (les pyrénées et la mer), 45 minute drive to vieux boucau (tranquil ghost town between the sea and the forest), hossegor; train to toulouse through countryside along the mountains.
come a long way. looking forward to laying my head on our pillows.

cool sun

step by step this city seeps deeper into my bones.
learning from lack of language, lack of companionship, lack of motivation.
but i smile because there is beauty here and beauty in what i will find upon coming home.

deep sleeps with no dreams

je ne suis pas français

the light by the stairwell to my room flickers when i turn it on.
i'm waiting for the perfect morning rain to hit my window.
until then i'll keep dreaming of winter, when we will have spent a full cycle of seasons together without falling off the edge of daydreams.

waking up to bird sounds

the sounds of french children laughing in the courtyard of my building
the sound of a woman yelling
the faint sounds of bob dylan
the creak of a hammock in my ear
take a deep breath, light another cigarette, and feel it all.

in a dream i was close to you. we held on to each other tightly as we wandered through dimly lit adventures. my hands were dirty. we were both tired. it was beautiful and i had my arm around you in fall.

shy queer fail

maybe next year. maybe work to have a march in the pnw. maybe ask more questions.
the rain is heavy here. but it only lasts for a few moments instead of days.
something beautiful comes through the window every morning.
been daydreaming in watercolor.

cloud breaks

overcast feels like overcast regardless of place. but then there are the fleeting moments of sunshine and i am overcome with a sense of calm.

first days in paris

this city is truly amazing. there is a kind of collective memory here that doesn't exist in the states. i climb a spiral staircase up to my room on the 6th floor of an apartment building built in the 19th century like a daydream come true.
a lot of walking, a lot of eating, a lot of smoking, a fair bit of drinking.
due to technical difficulties, i have been unable to upload my pictures but hopefully that will be sorted out in the next few days.

keep thinking of you and sophie calle.

forest in the middle of the city

and deep breaths
and sunbreaks
and leaves falling already